Suicidal Love: The Sequel
by MalecIsBeautiful12345
Summary: This is the much-requested sequel to "Suicidal Love", featuring a suicidal Magnus and an Alec that would give up anything and everything to keep him alive. This is a highschool au, as you would know if you have read "Suicidal Love", which I highly suggest. Warning: Depressing Themes, Mild Gore, Suggestive Themes, and Profanity I hope you enjoy this sequel!
1. chapter 1

So, you guys have been requesting a sequel for this story (Suicidal Love) and i actually started writing one but i lost the document so i kinda gave up on it but ill try rewriting it but witheven more angst than the sequel chapter i lost! Yay! :') (Btw, this sequel is going to alternate between magnus and alec's points of veiw, starting with magnus'.)

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 **Chapter 1:** **What Have I Done?**

I leaned back in my seat on the subway, my head swarming with thoughts and my stomache aching with regret. I'd left Alec a note before I left, handing it to his nurse to give to him. I didnt even know how I fekt about this, so many emotions coursing through me that I was almost numb except for the constant, claustrophobic feeling that my whole world was crashing down around me. I couldnt breath,my chest heaving with each shallow breath.

I hunched forward, holding my head in my hands. I tried to calm down by remembering old, happy memories, but those were rare and the happy memories turned dark very quickly, until finally, the whole reason I'm like this came to the surface and I held my breath, tears running down my cheeks.

 _I was sitting in my room, reading the book my friend Ragnor had given me at school that day, when I heard my father scream in agony from the upstairs bathroom. Terrified, I slowly climbed up the stairs to see him crouched in the doorway of the bathroom. I walked up behind him and looked over his shoulder at the scene that awaited me. My mother, her hair cascading over her vioently pale face flawlessly, her left arm outstretched on the tile flooring next to her, an empty bottle of pills on its side in the palm of her opened hand, was just laying there... dead. Suddenly, before I even had time to process what I was seeing, my father whipped around and grabbed me in a chokehold, "THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU FUCKING FAG!", he screamed, making me wince from the volume of his voice so close to my ears, " SHE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO TELL US YOU WERE THE SCUMBAG YOU ARE, SHE WAS SO FUCKING ASHAMED THAT SHE BIRTHED A FAG THAT SHE KILLED HERSELF!!! YOU HAPPY NOW?! I BET THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, YOU WORTHLESS PEICE OF CRAP!!!". Tears were now falling down my ten year old cheeks, as I struggled to breathe, to just stay conscious as he strangled me. Bruises all over my neck, he grabbed my wrist that years later, would be littered with scars, and dragged me outside, into our backyard, that unfortunately, had a river marking the end of our property, and took me to that river, dunking my head underwater for so long that my lungs burned and I couldnt open my eyes, pressure building up in my head. Finally, I could feel my fathers grip loosening and ultimately, letting go of me untirely, as I fell into the river and began to sink, ready to breathe in my last breath, one of water and not air, the one that would be the end of me, when I felt strong hands tighten around my shoulders, pulling me up to the surface once again. I gasped in the fresh air, so violently that it hurt my lungs just to breathe, but I couldnt stop, I gulped in large quantities of air, chest rising and falling at an alarming pace, for who knows how long, before my heartbeat and breathing rate began to slow to their normal paces, and I could open my eyes, even though I had to blink a couple times to clear my vision. My father had been torn away from me, his hands now bound in cuffs, his eyes glaring at me from the back of a squad car. Seeing the pure hatred in his expression made my eyes prick with tears once again, and I felt a hand pat my shoulder gently. I looked up to see a man's face looking down at me, "It's over, you're going to be okay.", he said, eyes full of sympathy. Oh how incorrect that statement had been..._ A similar hand on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts and I blinked, returning back to reality. Thing is, the hand wasn't similar to the man's hand at all, this time, the hand was weak and frail, and when I turned the the face of the person comforting me, I saw an old woman, her face detailed with many wrinkles. A kind smile was like a ray of sunshine into my darkness, "Are you okay? I saw you crying and thought you could use someone to talk to.", the woman said in a pleasant tone of voice. I forced a small smile, "I'm okay, my eyes have just been watering a lot lately, but thanks.", I laughed half-heartedly. She looked at me skeptically but she didnt push me, instead she replied with acceptance that I didnt want to open up to her, "Well if there _is_ anything troubling on your mind, I hope that all is well soon.". A sad smile replaced the kind one and she gave my shoulder a light pat before getting up and returning to her seat on the other side of the subway, just across from me and to my right a few seats. I bit my lip, maybe this was a sign, maybe people really did care... no. No, that's impossible. Only alec really cares and understands and he's not enough, he's not even my boyfriend any more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Lost**

Eventually the other nurses managed to get a note from my original nurse and they brought it to me, a wrinkled piece of notebook paper carried into my room. Three nurses were there, all of their faces sad or anxious in some way, one biting her lip, another's eyes only looking towards the ground. The third was the one holding the parchment and she had sad eyes but a strong face, her mouth performing a small, forced smile as she handed it to me, her hand shaking slightly. I took it from her slowly and carefully, terrified to rip it, the tension in the room giving it a sacred kind of feel and I hesitated before unfolding it and reading the perfect handwriting:

' _Dear Alexander,_

 _Thank you for always being there for me, for keeping me around for just one more week. That one week felt like years of a reality that I wish was my own, but it isn't. As Halsey said, "Someone will love you, but someone isn't me". I believe that applies to both of us. I love you more than I've loved anything or anyone in my whole life but there's still just so much you don't know about me. I'm an awful person, and my suicidal tendencies are more than justified. That's something your heart of gold will never understand, yet something I understand far too well. You made me feel loved, even important, for the first time in my whole life and I'll forever be grateful that I had such a privilege to experience such emotions, especially with someone as wonderful as you._

 _However… your recent accident has had be thinking and… I'm no good for you. I know I only bring you pain; like a drug that give some but takes more than you could ever imagine. This was my fault. You almost died at my hand and that… that simply cannot happen. Thank you for all that you've done but I can see it in your eyes; behind that love for me is a darker layer of emotion, one of fear that you'll blink and I'll be gone. Maybe your eyes are right to feel that way. I've certainly taught them that much._

 _You're such an utterly amazing person to be around, to befriend, to fall in love with, and to spend hours thinking about. You make me feel free, alive, and dare I say… happy. But I don't deserve to feel that way and you dont deserve the pain that I've caused you. So, in that case, I must say goodbye. I know that you'll find someone new, someone who will see what I see, who will get lost in those beautiful blue eyes just like I did the very first day we met, who will learn to appreciate that unconditional love that just radiates off of you. You'll be just fine, better than fine, you'll be perfect, loved, respected, and you will change the world with every word that comes from those glorious lips that I'm sure to miss. Please don't try to find me, its a hopeless attempt, just continue with your life, move on, love someone more deserving of your affection than me. It shouldn't be that hard. Not for you._

 _Goodbye Alexander. I felt proud to call you my boyfriend and now…_

 _I must call you my ex._

 _Thank you for changing my life._

 _Love, Magnus Bane ?_ _￢ﾀﾙ_

I was speechless. I had this urgent compulsion to run after him. But that was impossible, he must already be so far away, and I had no idea where. All I could do was stare at the paper as my vision went out of focus and I felt a kind of numbness take over me. All sounds, all thoughts even, were blocked out as the paper fell from my hands and I was left facing the wall opposite to me. Muffled sounds piercing the silence as a nurse took the paper and laid it gently on the table attached to the bed before ushering the other two nurses out of the room, leaving me alone, leaving me lost. Completely and utterly lost within my own mind. And suddenly… Magnus and I weren't so unalike anymore.


End file.
